- baby: m....m...m
- mom: mama? ma? mommy?
- baby: m...m...
- baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT
i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,
KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE
i wonder what he’s up to these days.
one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there
when i was little i wanted to go spend the night with my friend but my mom said no so i choreographed some dance to breakaway by kelly clarkson and i even broke a toothpick when the song said something about breaking away and she still said no
still laughing about yesterday during gender/sexuality studies class when our professor had everyone chant “VAGINA! PENIS! VAGINA!” a few times to make us more comfortable with saying those terms
and this girl just stands up slowly and says “…this… this isn’t math class…”
id hit up barnes and noble during the purge
signs you’re a book addict #1: when you’re willing to risk being brutally murdered for free books